Wiki defines it as, well, never mind. Wiki is wrong.
"remoteness from everyday life." yes. that's it.
Nothing in that definition is exclusive to a relationship of two people who are married/dating/lovers. In fact, nothing in that definition excludes a person who is alone. One of my most romantic moments was in fact shared with no one. I was Rome in 2011. My mother had recently passed on, allowing for this trip. I was caught between mourning and joy, standing in the Eternal City. It was summer, and it was hot. The water was cool and inviting. For a few moments, it was just me, the water, and my creator. I was surrounded by people- mostly strangers- and the photo capturing the moment was taken by someone I knew. My three-month-old baby was nearby in a stroller. But the feelings that swelled up in me and glued me to that spot, celebrating that moment was all mine. It was indeed romantic.
My favorite scene in the movie 'The Father of the Bride' is a discussion between Spencer Tracy and his soon to be son-in-law. The bride, played by Elizabeth Taylor, had come to her father in tears, ready to call off her wedding because her fiance' bought her a blender for a wedding present. How could he be thoughtless, buying a kitchen appliance for her for a wedding present? How romantic is that?! Then there is that moment went the dejected young groom-to -be explains in an almost panic that he bought that blender thinking of how much she likes smoothies. He wanted her to always have what she wanted, and he wanted to be the one to provide it. Suddenly, a blender looked like the most romantic gift he could have considered. 'An excitement associated with love.'
The most romantic thing anyone ever did for me was line the floor of a shower room of a garage with brown paper, so that I could shower in an auto garage and still feel like a lady. I was rushed after two trips to the emergency room with two different children, a photo shoot, and being the only witness for a bride in a convalidation ceremony. I had no time to get home to clean up, and my dear friend made the best of a difficult situation without me asking. He had in the past made me feel loved, and shown his romantic side on many occasions, but that simple layer of brown paper covering every surface of the shower room made me feel like a princess.
When a good person loves you, he will take time to listen to you. He will focus on your face and your words as you speak, and you will feel safe.
It becomes romantic when he stops what he is doing- what he is engrossed in- puts his tools down, looks you in the eye and either with his eyes or his words tell you that nothing else can come to his mind except what you are saying.
A loving friend will say, "come over when you are finished with your errands and we'll have coffee and catch up."
It becomes romantic when you arrive to find that she has drawn a bubble bath for you in her oversized tub, has surrounded the tub with candles and poured wine waiting for you, and says, "the next hour is all yours to be alone. I'll watch your kids."
Loving a child can mean spending your lunch hour with her, listening to her talk about her latest playground escapade, or her first break-up. It becomes romance when you turn off your cell phone, pour her drink into a wine glass, and be sure to have her favorite cup-cake for desert. You lean in and focus on her eyes while she talks. She feels the mystery of a mother's (or a father's) love that isn't the everyday feeling she gets she you wash her laundry.
We all need romance. Those who are married, those who are single and celibate, and yes, even priests and religious need romance. Some of the most romantic people I have ever met were priests and nuns! When love is elevated to "out of the ordinary", anyone can feel the mystery of excitement of that love and it becomes romance. G*d created romance, so why would He keep it from any of His beloved, reserving it only for couples? "Thy lips are as a scarlet lace; and they speech sweet. They cheeks are as a piece of a pomegranate, besides that which lieth hid within. .... Thy lips, my spouse, are as a dropping honeycomb, honey and milk are under thy tongue; and the smell of thy garments, as the smell of frankincense." [Solomon's Canticle of Canticles,4:3,11] No one could argue the romance and yes, eros! that fills the pages of this book of the Old Testament. It's no wonder that so many of the saints would go into what was called an "ecstasy" when praying! There is praying.. and there is romantic praying. I worship a very romantic God.
Although in the past I have loathed the coming of Valentine's day, thinking of it as merely "singles awareness day" and thinking about the romance not in my life, this year, I am filled with a mystery of the love that I have been blessed with from my Lord, my friends, and my family.
I have learned that having romance in my life is up to me. It's my responsibility to seek it out, to even create it for myself and for my children, and to recognize it in the beauty of creation that surrounds me. It is up to me to pull out moments in an otherwise mundane day and with G*d's grace, seek a feeling of excitement and share that with the people around me, whether it means getting out the good china to serve the peanut butter sandwich to my daughter, or dropping everything and inviting my son to sit in the large patch of clover in the yard to hear about his day.
Maybe this is why I'm truly happy and can say I like who I am for the first time in my life.
